


Emotions Uncovered

by bisexualdean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 15:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5971609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualdean/pseuds/bisexualdean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys decide to take a break from Amara, and get Cas' help for a case. During this case, Dean and Cas discover some feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the shitty title. I didn't have any good ideas floating through my mind oK BYE ENJOY

(Dean POV)

 

_ Cas calling. _

As Dean stared at the name on his ringing phone, he slowly started to get filled with anxiety. He took a breath and pressed the green button.

"Cas?"   
"Hello, Dean."    
"Cas,” He said, relieved that it was his voice on the other end, and not his assailant. “How are you, buddy?"    
Castiel was still resting in the bunker, recovering from the attack dog spell that was cast on him. Dean found himself constantly worrying about him. What would happen if Crowley or Amara found him? Dean closed his eyes, and listened to Cas’ rambling voice.

"Well Dean, I was wondering if I could help you work a case. I'm fully restored and-"   
"No way Cas, okay?" He interrupted, "You need to keep healing from that bitch Rowena's spell. You're in no shape to go out, let alone work a case."

"But Dean,” Cas insisted. Dean could imagine his face scrunched up in frustration. “I can't just sit here, i’m healed enough to help. You have to let me do something. I’m practically  _ useless _ here." 

"Just let Sam and me finish this case and then we'll talk about it, okay?”

“But Dean-”

“Cas, go watch some Netflix, take a nap, whatever." He looked around and saw Sam approaching with his tablet in hand. "Talk to you later, bye."   
He flipped his cell phone shut, closing off Cas’ rising voice. Dean leaned on Baby, his head hung low.  _ I need to keep him safe. He can’t get hurt again. Not after everything he’s done, after everything i've done to him. _

"Hey, Dean." Sam said, coming around. "You okay?"   
Dean looked up at his brother. "Just grand, Sammy. Come on.”

The two brothers got into Dean's beloved car, leaving the gas-n-sip on route to a motel. It was Sam’s idea to stop the hunt for Amara and work a case outside of that business. Dean was grateful. He needed a rest, and she gave him a bad feeling, especially after the incident with Crowley. 

“So, did you find out more about the murders? What’s the deal?" Dean asked, trying to stop the memory of Amara overpowering the king of Hell.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Uh, yeah. Turns out all of the vics bodies were killed the same way. Insides liquefied, eyes burned out. No obvious connection.”   
"So what, some kind of rogue angel?" Dean asked.

"I guess so." 

"Alright." Dean tapped his fingers on the wheel in time with the rock music that was playing on a low volume. "Let's talk about it over a burger or something, i'm starving.” Dean said. Sam just chuckled.

“Hey, look,” Dean gestured to the restaurant up ahead. “They’ve got a Biggerson's!"   
  


Sam winced at Dean as he bit into his "triple stacked bacon cheeseburger". He wiped the grease from his mouth.  _ Shit, that’s amazing. _

"Now that," Dean said, pausing to swallow the greasy concoction, "Is how it's done."   
"Dude, you're gonna get a heart attack if you keep eating like this." Sam exclaimed.

"Life is short, Sammy! You only live once."   
Sam chuckled. "Not if you're a Winchester." He said under his breath.

"What?"   
"Nothing. So, about this case..."   
"It's just probably an angel gone wild. Easy enough, right?" 

_ Not really. _ He thought to himself, those angels could be a real pain in the ass, but he had to keep Cas safe.

Sam let out a long sigh. "I don't know, I think we should get Cas.” He said, as if reading Dean’s mind. “I mean, he’s been healing for weeks, so i’m pretty sure he’s ready. And some action  _ would  _ be good for him, right?”

Dean stared at Sam. “Are you serious? No!” 

Sam shrugged.

“Dude, the poor guy’s been through a lot. Too much. We can’t just ask him to do this. Not now.” Sam just didn’t understand, did he? Cas needed to be as protected as possible.

“But Dean! It's a suicide mission without his help. Do you want us to just leave the angel or whatever alone to kill more people?” He asked angrily. Then he scoffed. “Why are you acting so overprotective of him, anyway?” 

Why  _ was  _ Dean acting this way? A part of him wanted to grab Cas’ feathery ass out of the bunker and have him smite the bastard. Another part of him wanted Cas to be safe and sound, away from harm. But Dean also missed him, alot. 

_ Better safe than sorry, Dean. Keep him at the bunker.  _ He thought to himself. Dean shook his head. “He’s staying where he is.”

Sam raised his eyebrows, then rolled his eyes. “Fine. We can try to solve this by ourselves. But if anything goes the least bit wrong-”

“ _ Then _ we’ll get Cas. Jeez, Sammy, it’s okay.” 

 

(Sam POV)

 

“Cas? It’s me.” He whispered. Sam looked over his shoulder at Dean, who was sleeping on his bed, passed out and snoring loudly.

“Sam. How are you?”

“I’m good, but…” Sam looked at his brother again. Was he really going to sneak around behind Dean’s back, again?

“We need you here in…” Sam looked down at the newspaper clipping lying on the table. “Bismarck, North Dakota, to help work a case involving an angel or two. Are you up to that?” 

Sam rubbed his forehead. Dean wasn’t going to be  _ that _ mad, right? It wasn’t a big deal. Plus, he would thank Sam later.

“Yes, of course.” Cas responded. “I’ll be there in the morning.”

“Alright, thanks Cas.” 

Sam hung up, still thinking about Dean and how he would react to Cas out of bed, after telling Sam to leave him alone. And there was the scene at the diner. Why did Dean care about Cas’ health and well-being all of a sudden?The angel had once been human and homeless, yet Dean had kicked Cas out of the bunker anyway, so why care now? 

He shook his head, exhausted. He would find out in the morning, anyway.

 

(Dean POV)

 

Dean slowly opened his eyes to a strange face staring down at him.

“Ah! Damn it, Cas! Still?”

The angel tilted his head and looked up, as if he was ashamed. “Sorry Dean, I forgot, and I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Well, you didn’t have to stare at me in my sleep!” Dean scolded, heat rising up in his cheeks. Then he paused and shook his head. “Wait, why are you even here? You should be back at the bunker, healing up and questioning the logic in Gossip Girl, or something.”

Cas looked confused. “Sam called me last night, asking me to come over and help. I arrived a couple of hours ago.”

Dean sighed in exasperation. “He went behind my back.  _ Again _ .”

“Dean, it’s okay, i’m fine.”

Dean looked up at Cas. It was fine, he didn’t mind Cas, at all. In fact, he  _ was _ kind of okay with the fact that Sam called Cas in private.  _ I’m glad Cas is here, _ Dean thought.  _ Because...now he can help us with this very important, difficult, case.  _

Dean’s mouth twitched.

“Whatever, but, will you please get the hell out of here and let me get dressed?”

 

Dean walked out of the motel room, straightening his red tie, and went towards Cas. 

“Hey,” He greeted, calmer than before. “Where’s Sam?” Dean asked.

“He told me that he was going to the morgue to check out the bodies.” He replied in his signature deep voice.

“Good, ‘cause that’s where i’m headed. Alright Cas, let’s go kick some ass.” Dean chuckled. “Huh. That kinda rhymes.” 

Cas didn’t say anything. Dean just rolled his eyes at him, and got into his car. 

 

When they pulled up at the morgue, they saw Sam waiting at the front door, brushing off his suit. He made a “come” gesture with his head and went back in. The two of them got out of the car and followed him, slamming the squeaking doors.

“So, it’s exactly as the newspaper said.” He whispered, once they were in. “The eyes were burned out and the insides liquefied.” Sam clarified, lowering his head. He was clearly trying to avoid Dean’s gaze. Sam risked a look back at Dean, who smirked at his brother’s nervousness. Dean looked at the angel walking next to him.

“Any idea who it could be, Cas?” Dean asked.

“No,” He admitted. “But it could be an angel that Hannah and I missed when we were bringing the rogues back to heaven. Let me take a look at the bodies.” 

When they got into the room, the three were greeted by a rather large man in a tight, white, lab coat.

“I see you brought your friends, Agent Nash.” He said, not looking up from his papers.

“Yes, this is Agent Crosby and Agent Stills.”

Dean raised his hand up in greeting, and they showed him their fake FBI badges, Cas managing to show his badge the right side up. Dean held back a sarcastic comment. 

“Well, you guys can look at the bodies as much as you want,” the man said, setting down his files. “They’re baffling.”

“Thank you, sir.” Sam said as the man left the room. 

“Yes. Thank you.” Cas gave a nod that was supposed to look professional, but instead looked ridiculous. Dean tried to hold in his laughter, but accidentally let out a snort. Cas, ignoring him, walked up to the bodies and inspected them, poking and prodding. His hands glowed for brief moments.

“So, Cas?” Dean asked.

Cas turned around,letting his arms rest at his sides. “There’s nothing special about these people that I can tell by their bodies.”

“So, what? A dead end?”

“Not necessarily.” 

“Uh, Dean?” Sam interrupted. “I did some research on the vics earlier this morning, and I think I might have found something.”

He scoffed. “ _ Now  _ you tell us?”

“Well, I thought we should look at the bodies first, to, you know, double check.”

“Whatever,” Dean said, rolling his eyes. “Go ahead.”

Sam cleared his throat. “Well, it turns out that they were all very anti-religious, and were part of a group that attempted to burn down the local Church.”

“So, what?” Dean asked. “The angel’s going after the ‘god haters’?” 

“I guess so. What do you think, Cas?”

“It would make sense.” He replied. “Maybe we should...interrogate the other members of the group.”

Dean laughed. “Okay Cas. Just don’t pull another ‘why did you kill your husband’!” He smiled at Cas, and Cas smiled back, surprisingly enough. It gave Dean a weird feeling, like anxiety, but different. He couldn’t explain it, it was like he needed more of something. He was probably just hungry, he  _ did _ forget to have breakfast, after all. 

Dean cleared his throat, then caught Sam giving him a strange look, but it left as soon as it came. 

_ What was that? _ Dean thought. He shook it off.

“Let's go.”

 

There were five people involved in the Church burning. Four of them died, one of them was still alive. His name was Flynn McKinney.

“What a douchey name.” Dean joked as he pulled up to the house. 

“Yeah.” Sam scoffed. 

The trio got out and knocked on the door. A man in his mid-50’s opened the door. 

_ Wow. _ Dean thought. He expected an old alcoholic in a dirty bathrobe covered a bad stench, but instead was warmly greeted by a clean-shaven man in a green dress shirt and jeans.

“Good morning gentlemen. What may I do for you?” He asked. They could smell the scent of coffee and linen wafting from the house.

“Uh, i’m Agent Crosby,” Dean started. “And these are my partners, Agents Nash and Stills. Are you Flynn?”

He nodded a little too quickly. “Please, come in.”

After they were all seated, Flynn got them all coffee. Dean raised his eyebrows at Cas, who tilted his head.

_ He’s so clueless, it’s adorable.  _ He thought to himself lightheartedly as he adjusted himself, ending up slightly closer to Cas than before.

“So,” Flynn said, sitting down on the couch across from them with a groan. “What brings you boys here today?” Dean noticed that he had a bit of a southern accent.

“We’re here to talk to you about the fire at Bismarck Baptist Church.” Sam stated. “You  _ were  _ involved, right?”

“Yeah,” He admitted, looking down. “But i’ve put that behind me.”

“Well, someone hasn’t.” Sam said, bluntly. “They’re hunting down all of the people involved. Four have died already.” Dean nodded in agreement, nothing to add.

Flynn closed his eyes and rubbed a spot over his eyebrow. “Wow. Uh…” He tool a sharp breath. “Really?” He asked.

“Yes. We are not liars, because we are the FBI, obviously.” Cas stuttered, looking Flynn dead in the eye.

“Er...we suggest that you let us stay in the area.” Dean added awkwardly.

Flynn looked at them with uncertainty. “May I see your badges again?” He asked, voice laced with suspicion.

They slid them across the table and he inspected them, doubt showing on his face. Then, after looking at the badges long enough, he gave them back. “Sure, whatever.”

 

(Cas POV)

 

Later that day, Sam and Dean told Cas to wait outside of the front door while they waited in the back, in their car. He had complained that he wanted to be with them, but didn’t win. 

Cas sat, leaning against a tree in front of the house. He was glad that he was working a case again, though, and not cooped up in the bunker, as fascinating human television was. He wanted to help the Winchesters, especially Dean, who seemed to really need help after what he had been through. It was nice to see him, but he couldn’t quite place the feelings that he felt for him yet. It was like he suddenly wanted to be with him.  _ Always. _ He had never experienced these  _ emotions _ before, but he was pretty sure he knew what they were. He felt a warm tingle in his stomach. Suddenly, Cas saw Dean throwing punches to Cas’ face, warm blood trickling out of his nose. 

_ Stop that. _ He thought to himself.  _ That wasn’t Dean. _

But as great it was to be out and working a case, he felt ashamed that he didn’t completely finish his job in rounding up all of the angels and guiding them back to heaven. Now, because of him, innocent people were dead and dying. Cas wanted---no,  _ needed  _ to save this one human.

 

(Dean POV)

 

It was around one thirty in the morning when Dean saw the figure. At first he couldn’t see it, but then his eyes found the outline of a body. It placed it’s hand on the door, causing it to swing wide open with a bang. _ That must be the angel.  _ He thought.  _ Not very quiet. _ He smirked.

“Sam? Sam! Hey! Wake up!” Dean whispered, harshly.

Sam was still dead to the world.

“Wow,” Dean said to himself. “Great time to sleep in, Sam.”

He got out of the car and called Cas, who was on speed dial.

“Cas?”

“Dean.”

“I think that the angel just went in, go through the front.” He whispered harshly. He then hung up.

Dean went inside quietly, holding up his gun out in front of him. He tip-toed into where the three of them had had coffee earlier, and what he also assumed was the living room. His eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness, and he saw Flynn sleeping on the couch, mouth wide open. He started to walk over to wake him up and warn him, when he heard the front door close behind him. He looked back, saw Cas, and then turned back around, just to see a woman put her hand up and on Flynn’s head.

 

(Cas POV)

 

“No!” Cas shouted, running towards the angel, but it was too late. The blinding white light came from his eyes and mouth, followed by the screaming. By the time he had gotten there, the body had fallen to the floor with a thud. Cas met Dean’s eyes with his own, suddenly filled with shame.

Cas then felt the blade hilt fall into his hand from his sleeve. He raised it up and walked forward to strike the angel, but his arm was blocked by hers, and she flipped him over the coffee table, knocking the breath out of him. Cas saw Dean in the corner of his eye, fighting with her and managing to cut her arm. The wound glowed white as blood seeped out. She grunted and made a pushing motion, and Dean was knocked against the wall. Cas then started to get up when suddenly, she was there, pinning him down, her arm on his neck. 

“Why won’t you stupid angels just let me do what I want? I’m trying to help!” She yelled hysterically. Cas heard Dean grunting in the background as dark patches floated in the air.

“Killing,” Cas started, trying to get air to speak. “Is not the answer.”

“You wouldn’t know,  _ Castiel _ , you’re just  _ too  _ close to humans.” She hissed, her face leaning in. She brought up her angel blade.

Cas was confused. “How do you know,” he struggled to take another breath. “My name?”

“Oh please,” she replied. “ _ Everyone  _ know who you are. Everyone knows your attachment to humans and…” Her eyes narrowed in disapproval. “Dean Winchester.”

Cas quietly reached for the angel blade behind him, keeping up the conversation to stall her. 

“What do you mean? Who are you?” He asked, suddenly curious. His hand paused it’s creeping across the floor. She laughed, then smirked. “Oh, please, everyone knows about your little attachment to Dean. It’s quite amusing, angels aren’t even supposed to feel this type of attachment to humans! You’re like a mutation, it’s so strange that it’s...” She paused searched for a word. “ _Disgusting._ As for who I am, it doesn’t matter.”

Cas let her words sink in.  _ She knows.  _ He thought, his cheeks burning. He looked at Dean struggling as he was pressed against the wall. Cas then reached out one last time and swung the blade out at her, creating a long gash on her abdomen. She shouted in surprise, jumping back and grabbing her wound as he advanced. He raised the angel blade, stabbed her in the chest, but he felt a sharp agonizing pain in his left side and started to fall. The last thing he saw was the angel blade sticking out of his glowing side.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first fanfIC DONT JUDGE

(Dean POV)

Dean couldn’t see anything.

All he could make out in the white light was the shocked expression on Cas’ face, and the tip of the blade sticking out of the other angel’s back. The two slumped against each other and fell onto the floor, not moving.

“ _ Cas?!”  _ Dean yelled.

He was suddenly on the floor, free, panting and gasping for air. Weak and miserable, Dean ran over to the two limp bodies, and pushed Cas off of the dead angel. He cradled his head with both of his hands.

“Cas I-” Dean choked out, swallowing a lump in his throat. 

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve taken better care of you. It’s all my fault.”

That was when he broke down, the tears mingling with the blood and sweat, stinging his face. He stuck his blade into the ground, where the shadow of the angel's wings were. He looked around the messy room, eyes skirting across the floor. There was only one pair of wings burnt into the ground. 

Cas wasn’t dead.

Not yet, anyway.

“Cas!” He yelled roughly. Dean grabbed his face, gently slapping it in hopes of him waking up. “ _ Cas! _ Please!” His voice broke. “Wake up.” He looked at his wound, drenched in glowing red blood.

He looked at Cas’ limp face, letting his voice drop into a whisper. “Cas, please, I need you.” It then hit him like a bolt of lightning, filling up all of his senses with one emotion.

“Cas I...I love you.” 

Nothing happened.

“I-I love you, okay? I love you from your stupid unkempt hair to your feathery ass.” He held back a sob.

His limp body still showed no movement. 

“Damnit, Cas.” Dean took a shaky breath and took his hands away from his face, more tears flowing from his eyes.

Suddenly, the drooping eyelids opened up, and he was staring into a pair of glittering, dark blue eyes.

“I love you too, Dean.”

 

(Sam POV)

 

Sam woke up in the backseat of the Impala. He looked around for Dean, then saw the time. 2:03 AM. Did he really sleep for that long? Something wasn’t right. He got out of the car, searching for his brother. 

“Dean?” He yelled. He took out his gun and ventured into the house, perhaps his brother was inside. He heard a clatter in the room next to him, so he quietly tiptoed over. Sam kicked open the door, aiming his gun straight out in front of him. 

The room was a mess. There was blood everywhere, two dead bodies, and something that to this day, Sam tries to erase from his mind.

It was Dean and Cas, his brother and his friend,  _ making out _ . Kissing. He saw his brother gently push the angel into the couch.

“What the  _ hell? _ ” Sam exclaimed, disgusted.

Dean snapped his head back to look at Sam, breaking apart from Cas.

“Uh,” he stammered. “This uh, this isn’t what it looks like.” Dean said hastily, scratching the back of his head.

Cas looked up. “Actually, I’m quite sure it is.”

“Not helping.”

“Sorry.”

“Okay,” Sam said. “I’m just going to walk back or take a bus to the motel and pretend that none of this happened.”

“Uh, Sam?” Dean said. “Could you actually help me get Cas back safely? He’s kind of wounded, very badly.” 

Sam closed his eyes and made a frustrated noise. Wounded very badly?  _ Shit. _ Sam thought.  _ This is my fault. “ _ Oh.” He said, embarrassed.

“But wait, why were you making out with him?”

Dean gave an awkward smile, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s a long story.”

“Fine. But i’m doing it for Cas.”

 

(Dean POV)

 

Before leaving, Dean covered the two bodies with bedsheets, and yanked off some curtains for Cas’ wound. He wrapped it around his torso, feeling many confusing, mixed emotions.  _ That was a pretty good kiss.  _ He thought, feeling his cheeks get warm. He felt tired and dizzy from the fiasco. They hoisted Cas up by his shoulders and dragged him back to the car. Dean bit his lip, filled with worry.

Cas was alive, but would he stay that way?

 

When they arrived at the motel, Cas collapsed onto one of the beds, falling asleep immediately. Dean made sure that his wound was clean and tucked him in. He went into the bathroom, washing the blood and grime off of his face, stopping to stare at himself in the mirror. 

_ You love Cas. _ He thought.  _ And he loves you.  _ He may or may not have smiled at himself like a 13 year old. He wiped his face with a towel and changed pit of his dirty suit and into an old plaid shirt and jeans. He walked out of the bathroom and turned around to Sam, who was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.

“I’m going out for a drink.”

Sam looked up, “Are you not going to explain to me what happened back there?”

“Nope.”

“But Dean, are you gay now? What are you going to do? Isn’t  _ any _ of this confusing you?”

“Sam,” Dean started. “Did it ever occur to you that he’s hurt badly because of  _ you _ ?”

“I know. And i’m sorry. I should have listened to you, but where aee you going?”

Dean walked over to the door and opened it. “Like I said, i’m going out for a damn drink. God, Sammy.”

 

He sat down at the counter and signalled the bartender over. “A shot of whiskey, please. Actually, make that two.” The bartender nodded and turned around, pouring the drink into the shot glasses. He set down the glasses. Dean took a shot, swinging back his head, barely flinching at the strong taste that he was so used to. He hadn’t quite meant to kiss the angel with that much... _ passion. _ He felt his cheeks flush. His emotions were just running too high, and he should jave had better self control. Then again, Cas  _ had _ said “I love you” back.

Was Dean gay? 

To test this theory, he looked around at women. They were still hot and sexy, and Dean still wanted to bang them. He then looked around at men. There was nothing special about them.

_ So what am I? _

He sighed then shook his head, and took another shot.

 

Dean stumbled into the dark motel room, kicking off his shoes and crawling into the bed, drunk and tired, before realizing that Cas was still lying there, dead to the world. Dean bit his lip, debating what the appropriate thing to do was. He could feel the soft warmth radiating off of the celestial being, calling out to him. This caused Dean to wrap his arms around the fallen angel. 

_ His _ fallen angel. And he wasn’t going to let anything harm Cas again, not before going through Dean. 

With that thought in mind, he snuggled closer and closed his eyes.  _ He’s going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine. _

 

(Cas POV)

 

When Castiel woke up, he didn’t know where he was. The sun was stinging his eyes, but that wasn’t as painful as the deep throbbing sensation in his side. He groaned and tried to get up, failing miserably, ending in a pool of sweat. He lay still there for a moment, muscles sore, trying to remember the events of last night. Then it hit him, leaving him with two emotions-regret and love. Regret for not being able to save Flynn, and love for, well, Dean. He lay there, thinking about everything, but especially about his feelings for Dean. 

He’s always admired the human for being able to be strong and kind at the same time, but Cas couldn’t place when he knew for sure that he loved him. He suddenly flashed back to a shameful memory of him dropping an angel blade and looking down at Dean’s bloodied face. Yes. That was it. He remembered not recognizing the emotion. He remembered not understanding the feeling of warmth spreading through his vessel and out into his soul, but then he realized what it was-affection.

He then started thinking about the kiss, trying to pick out details from his groggy mind. It was a slight shock to him at first, but he quickly adapted to it. The door opened and Sam walked in.

“Oh hey, um, y-you’re awake.” Sam stuttered. “I didn’t think that angels slept.” 

He was clearly blushing, probably thinking of last night.

“Yes, well, I need to heal, so i’m conserving my energy.”

“Ah.” His feet shuffled. “Dean, uh, is out getting snacks for the car ride. Do you have a preference?” He shook his head. “Wait, you don't eat. Nevermind, sorry.” 

“A burger, please. I need to keep my vessel...” He gestured at his stomach. “Replenished, while I heal. These burgers seem to help.”

Sam raised his eyebrows.  “Alright, see ya Cas. I’m going out on a walk.”

Cas knew that he was just trying to clear the awkwardness. “Sam, wait.”

He looked back at him.

“You don’t mind that, well  _ if, _ your brother and I, well, are, you know?” He said to him, asking for approval.

“What?” Sam inquired, his eyebrows shooting up.

“I mean, last night and all, I-I told him that I loved him.” 

“Of course not, Cas. It’s just a bit of a shock, that's all.” Sam tried to smile, but it came out as more of an awkward twitch of his lips. He then tried a casual nod.

“Bye.” He mumbled quickly as he walked out.

 

(Dean POV) 

Dean was at the cash register when his phone chimed. “Cas wants a burger” the text message read. Dean smiled at the phone, shaking his head. He shoved his phone back into the pocket of his worn down jeans.

_ I can’t believe that I was brave enough to...well, everything. _ He thought, thinking of that night. Dean felt embarrassed, thinking of these things, but the thoughts kept flowing past the barrier he tried to put up.

It was strangely new, in a good way. He had thought that kissing a man would be no different than a woman, but it was somehow better, especially since it was tied to a feeling. “Be right back.” He said to the cashier, dashing to the back to get a burger. When he left and got into the car, he realized that he was questioning himself.

Did he  _ really  _ love Cas? 

Dean shook his head.  _ Of course I do _ . 

But he was still filled with doubt. He’d never loved or felt attraction to another man, so maybe he was just...very good friends with Cas? Dean slammed his head against the wheel in frustration.

What had he gotten himself into, and what was he going to do now? 

He shouldn’t have told Cas that he loved him. What if he didn’t mean it? There would be a whole mess. Then there was Sam. He seemed either embarrassed or disappointed in Dean, and maybe even both. 

Was Dean doing the wrong thing?

 

When he got to the motel, Dean saw Sam supporting Cas by his shoulders outside. Sam gave a half-hearted wave at him, then loaded Cas into the back seat with a grunt. As Sam got into the front seat, Dean looked away in embarrassment. He then looked back at Cas, who was lying down, yet not sleeping. 

“Good morning sleepy head.” Dean said to him playfully, even though it was noon.  _ Wait a minute. Am I  _ flirting  _ with Cas? What’s happening? _

“Good morning, Dean.” Cas replied, smiling. 

_ God, that voice. _ ..it was probably the sexiest damn thing Dean had ever heard. Deep and throaty and- _ wait, no. I can’t. I don’t even know if I love him. I mean, i’m not gay... _ Dean sighed and started the car. He wasn’t gay, but he was slowly yet surely falling deeper in love with him.

“Cas, you should get some rest.” He finally said.

“Alright.” He closed his eyes.

A while later, at a red light, Dean turned around and poked Cas, seeing if he was awake. When he didn’t do anything, he turned back around and faced Sam.

“Hey, so uh, I need your help.” He admitted, looking out at the traffic in fronr of them.

“What’s up?” Sam replied.

“I don’t know if I love Cas. I mean, I still like women and it’s not like I go around having sex with dudes.”

“That could be a problem.” He said. What was wrong with his brother? He was usually the supportive one.

“What the hell does that mean?”

Sam sighed. “What exactly happened, last night?”

“Erm, nothing much. He almost died, and stuff.”

“Okay, but, how did that... _ kiss _ happen?”

Dean bit his lip. “I...might have told him that I loved him.” He confessed.

“ _ What?  _ Dean, this changed  _ everything. _ ” Sam exclaimed. “You can’t just tell someone that you love them if you’re unsure of it!”

“I-i’m pretty sure that I really do...you know, love him.” Dean stammered hastily. Sam sighed.

“So, Sam. How do  _ you  _ feel about this?”

Sam looked at him. “You absolutely  _ cannot _ break his heart or go too fast. He  _ is _ an angel who is helping us, after all. Things could get complicated and messy, but that’s a risk you’re going to take. So figure things out,  _ quickly. _ ”

Dean scoffed. “Thanks mom.” They kept driving, passing car after car.

“I know that this must be  _ very  _ awkward for you.” Dean finally said, breaking the silence.

Sam laughed. “Yeah, no kidding. But if this is what you really want, then i’ll be supportive.”

Dean smiled, not quite meaning it.  _ Is this really what I want?  _

 

(Cas POV)

 

Cas woke up to a soft peck on his lips. 

He opened his eyes and saw a pair of light green eyes staring back at him. He then decided that Dean was probably the most beautiful human on earth. 

“We’re here. How’re you feeling?” Dean asked softly.

“Much better, after that long nap.” He replied. “I think I can walk now.”

“Alright.” Dean said. “Just don’t go around smiting chipmunks or whatever.”

Cas tilted his head. “I have nothing against chipmunks. They are helpful to the the food chain and ecosystem.” 

Dean laughed loudly and slapped Cas on the arm.

“C’mon, let's go.”

Cas didn’t tell Dean that he had heard every word of his conversation with Sam.

 

Dean was cooking dinner in the kitchen with Sam while Cas lay down in two chairs next to each other. Sam popped out, wearing an apron and holding a spatula in one hand. “Dean wants to know if you want anything.”

“I’m good, thank you Sam.”

He nodded and went back in. Cas was still lying down on the chairs, staring up at the ceiling. Motivated by his boredom, he got up with a grunt and started to explore the bunker. He walked around the halls, stopping to look in each room. He saw Sam’s plain room, with no decorations or any personal items out in the open. He walked a little further down the hall and found himself in Dean's room.

Cas looked at the mess in front of him and started to look through the pile on top of the dresser, not quite sure why.

_ Shirt, shirt, pants, comb, magazine… _ When Cas picked up the family themed magazine, the cover fell off the reveal a different one. 

“Busty Asian Beauties.” He read out loud, the name slowly sinking in. Cas dropped the magazine in shock and anger, flashing back to the conversation that Dean had with Sam.  _ What if he doesn’t love me, and all he said and did was a lie?  _ He thought, embarrassed at the thought. 

“Cas? You here?” He heard Dean's gentle voice. Panicking, he went out into the hall, pretending that he was lost. 

“Oh, hello Dean.” He said. “I seemed to have...er, lost my way.” 

Dean raised his eyebrows. 

_ He’s not going to believe me. He’s going to be mad. He’s- _ “Okay then, Cas. Do you want to watch Sam and I eat dinner?”

Cas let out his breath. “Okay.”

 

(Dean POV)

 

Dean didn’t understand why Cas was acting so strange. Was it was a side effect of healing? Was he okay? Dean shook his head and continued to eat his steak. He didn’t usually cook, but he was feeling good today. “You know,” Dean said, pausing to swallow. “I think I did a great job on this steak.” 

“Yeah, it’s pretty good, considering.” Sam replied. 

“Do you ever think about how that used to be a baby cow, with feelings?” Cas asked them. Dean turned around to look at him. “Cas, we don't think that way around here.” He said, taking on a pretend serious tone. “In here, food is food.” 

“Sorry Dean, I-”

“I’m just kidding, okay? It’s fine!” He laughed, taking his hand and caressing it with his thumb.

_ Woah, what am I doing?  _ Dean thought, about to pull his hand away.  _ Wait no, this feels nice. _ He smiled at Cas and he smiled back while their fingers entwined. 

Sam raised his eyebrows at Dean, looking as surprised as Dean felt. He smirked, then rolled his eyes playfully. “Ugh, guys, stop flirting in front of me. No PDA, please!” He teased.

Just to annoy him, and play back, Dean started to make out with Cas, fiercely, but he didn’t seem to get that he was joking, and he returned the kiss roughly. Dean broke apart, a wave of  _ something _ coming over him. He winked at Cas, then turned around and stuck out his tongue at Sam.

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

 

After Dean left the dinner table to be cleaned by Sam, he went into his messy and dark room and saw his copy of “Busty Asian Beauties” lying on the floor. Cas then walked through the door. 

“Cas, were you in my room?”

“Yes, sorry, do you mind?”

He shook his head. “Of course not. Just shocked that you didn’t get lost in here, it’s a mess.”

“Well, it was hard.” Cas joked, giving Dean a smile. 

_ God, Cas, why do you do this to me? _

Dean stepped closer and and pulled Cas into another kiss, his hand pressed on the small of his back, the other running through his soft black hair.  _ This feels so good. I think I really love him. _

He then felt Cas pull away. 

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked softly. “Am I moving too fast? I can slow down if you want. Sorry about that kiss at the table by the way, it was a joke. Sort of.” It  _ would _ make sense, after all. The last person Cas had kissed other than Dean was one who killed him.

Cas sighed, looking down at his hands. “No, this is...perfect. I just want to know if you actually...love me, or if you are unsure and just guessing. Because-” He paused and looked up at him. “I know that I love you, alot.” 

Dean ran his thumb across Cas’ jaw. “Did you-” Dean cleared his throat. “Did you hear me and Sam this afternoon?”

Cas nodded, ashamed. “I-I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I just overheard it. I’m sorry. I am a celestial being.” He stepped away from Dean. “Are you really confused about how you feel about me? Do you even love me?” 

Dean felt his words pierce his heart, snapping him back to reality. He sat down on the bed, taking Cas’ hand and pulling him down with him. “It’s true that I was confused about my feelings and my...sexuality. Hell, I still am.”

“So, what?” Cas asked briskly.

“I’ll figure it out, Cas. Don’t worry. ”

Dean kissed him, gently pushing him onto the bed. 

_ Yes.  _ He thought.

But then Cas broke apart. 

“That’s not a good enough answer.” He said, anger seeping through his words.

“Cas, I-” Dean exhaled. “I still don’t know what I am, or whatever, and i’m still figuring that out.” He gave Cas a weak smile. He really was beautiful, and it wasn’t just his vessel. “But for now, it doesn’t matter because-”

Dean took a shaky breath, and looked into the dark depths of the blue eyes that he trusted with all his heart. 

_ No chick flick moments.  _ He thought to himself.  _ No chick flick moments. No-ugh, screw that. _

“All I know is that right here, right now, the only thing that I love, is  _ you _ .”

Dean took his hand, and two held on to each other, like one of them were to leave, hands clasped together.

Cas smiled in the dark. “Me too.” 

Dean looked straight into his blue eyes, as dark and beautiful as the purest ocean. “I mean it. Cas, I really do. Not a crush, not an attraction, but love. I love you.”

It was Cas who leaned in, and this time, no one turned away.

 

(Cas POV)

 

Cas finally got up in the morning after a long time of staring up at the ceiling. He looked down at the freckles that he had stared at many times, in hopes of being able to count them. He put on his clothes and shrugged on the old trench coat that he wore everywhere. He smiled to himself as he thought of last night's conversation and what had followed. It was still all confusing for him, but he used the knowledge that he had gained before. He had never thought that Cas would find himself doing such things. If there was one thing to thank that reaper for, it was that.

He walked into the “living room”, but was greeted by a frustrated Sam closing his computer with a thud and walking away. 

“What’s wrong, Sam?”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “Cas, you're a great friend and all but, I need some space today, please.”

He was confused. “Well, what happened? Did I do something?”

Sam just sighed, seeming disgusted. He looked up at the ceiling. “Wehavethinwalls” was all that he could muster before walking out of the bunker, slamming the door behind him. 

_ We have thin walls? What does that-oh. _ Cas blushed, walking back to Dean’s room. When he got there, he walked over and sat next to Dean, who was still sleeping and grasping a pillow in his strong arms. Cas leaned his face down, right next to Dean’s. “Dean, wake up.” He said, lowering his voice.

Deans long eyelashes fluttered as his eyes opened. He tensed up at first, but then relaxed. “Cas, hey. Good morning.” He smiled, getting up on one elbow. “Where’s Sam?” He asked, looking at the clock. “He must have been up since like, five.” 

Cas looked around, avoiding his glance. “He left.”

“Why?”

“Well, he seemed frustrated when I saw him, and when I asked him why he told me that we had, uh,” He could feel his cheeks reddening for the second time. “Thin walls.”

Dean burst out laughing. “Oh, Cas. Don’t worry, this isn’t the first time he said that. He’ll get over it.”

Cas nodded slowly, relieved. “Okay. Were we really that loud?”

“I don’t know.” Dean said, shaking his head in amusement. “I’m just gonna use the bathroom to wash up, be right back.”

“Okay.”

After Dean left, Cas sat still on the bed where they had lain, pondering on what was going to happen next. _This is so strange._ He thought to himself. _A few years ago I would be disgusted at the thought of having such…affairs with a human._ _But now,_ Cas realized. _I’m looking forward to it. And him._ He smiled, feeling a lump in his throat. A few moment later, Dean walked into the room. “Hey there, Cas.” He jerked his head to the door. “C’mon, I have something to show you.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a surprise, I can’t tell you.”

Cas fake pouted, racking his mind for a good comeback, something to get a laugh out of Dean. Then it struck him.

“Assbutt.”

Dean laughed, then kissed him. The kiss stirred something in Cas, and it was very minty, most likely his toothpaste. Dean encircled his leather covered arm around Cas’ shoulder and brought his closer. Moments like these were what he would look forward to in the future.

“Just follow me, and close your eyes.” 

 

“Can I open my eyes yet?” Cas asked, rubbing his fingers on the leather seat of the car Dean loved. “Not yet, but i’ll tell you when.”

Cas sighed, trying to imagine where Dean was bringing him. A steakhouse? A bar? A fast food chain?

A few minutes later, Cas felt the car stop. “We’re here. Don’t open your eyes yet.” Dean opened the car door and helped Cas out. “Okay. Open them.”

He opened his eyes. They were in a forest, trees surrounding them everywhere. Cas could hear animals scurrying around in the foliage, calling out to each other in different sounds, ones that he understood. He saw the blue sky above them, white fluffy clouds spread out.

“It’s beautiful. It reminds me of before man.”

Dean grinned. “I knew you would like it.”

“But of course, man is quite beautiful as well.” He added, making Dean blush. “Mankind is beautiful, freckles like the stars in the sky, eyes as green as this forest, lips as red as cherries.” 

Dean’s cheeks turned a darker shade than before, deepening his grin. 

“Of course, I was expecting something more Dean, like greasy burgers in a bar.”

Dean laughed, as light as a feather. “No, that’s for tonight's date.” He grabbed Cas’ hand. “Come.”

 

(Dean POV)

 

Dean led Cas into the heart of the forest, his hand in his. Dean took in deep breaths of the fresh air, turning his head to look at the fascinated angel.  _ I hope i’m not acting like a little girl _ . He thought to himself. But in all honesty, he didn’t actually care.  _ Cas is mine, and i’m his. I can be whoever I want around him _ .  _ I can be myself. _

They stepped into a green, grassy, clearing, the blue sky above their heads. A squirrel ran over their feet. Dean sat down. “C’mere.” He said softly. Cas sat down next to him, and Dean put his arm around his shoulder. They were silent for a while, just looking straight ahead of them.

“You know, very soon,” Dean said, breaking the silence. “We’re going to have to start hunting down Amara again. And we need to be ready for anything, and everything.” 

“I don’t want to leave here.”

“Me neither.” Dean confessed. “You can’t get hurt again.” He said, voice determined.

“Nor you, Dean.” Cas replied, kindness showing in his eyes, slightly drooping at the corners. Cas rested his hand on his.

Dean took a deep breath. “I wish that we could stay here, in this moment, forever.”

Cas put his hand on the side of Dean's face. “How about this moment?” He asked.

“I guess that's a plus.” He replied slyly. “But what about  _ this  _ moment?”

Dean pulled Cas into a long and deep kiss, one that spoke of introductions and farewells, pain and strength, tears and laughter. 

They stopped, their faces close to each other.

“I love you, Dean.”

“I love you too, Cas.”

 

They stayed there for a while, trying to forget what they were to do. But everything would be okay, because they had each other, and that would overcome everything.


End file.
